Boy, can you do me a favor?

Can you do me a favor? By being that right guy.

Boy, noone enjoys breakup, even you (unless you were playing around). So be right from the beginning.

Boy, are you tired searching all your whole life for one woman who can go with you the rest? So be right as much as you can.

Do you feel that she’s just perfect for you? Or can be perfect for anyone as well? Just be right. She has no reason to stay with you if you are so wrong for her.

Do you want a right person for you? Be right. The wrong guy gets the wrong girl. Its just simply logical.

Do you want to enjoy eternal sweet happy moments with her? Be right and appropriate.

Do you want to go with her your long way ahead? Be right, be kind and compassionate.

Boy. Can you do me a favor? Don’t rush into a relationship if you are not going to learn how to love, appreciate your partner, not gonna be right, kind and patient.

Because, you’ll hurt people, or worse, hurt yourself.

Do me a favor, be the right one. 🍻

Do me a favor, let me fall in love with your personality.

TrucVien, 15Mar2017

Photo: Pinterest


Seed condition of relationship

It’s just been only hours since we  are apart but I can feel the memories have come back to me. Your face. Your actions. Your laughter. I know these memories are going to bury me and haunt me in the lonely nights. They might make my tears run down sometimes.

My heart has also been broken so bad whenever I think about all the long way you’ve been through to bring us together again. You traveled far for me. You left many important things behind for me. It’s so heart-broken to imagine that now you are lonely after all the effort you made. I really wanna text you, to ease your heart, to sympathize with the terrible feelings you may be going through right now. Because only I know it. No-one else does, at least, at this moment.

But baby. You just don’t know how to appreciate all those hard works you made. You just don’t know how to truly enjoy the rare moments we’ve got when our lives crash. You have no idea how hard God has made the way for us to come back. Do you think it’s just easy and you can always take it for granted? No, babe. Let me tell you this. It might be easy to be happy  forever ever with someone else as long as they don’t cheat or turn to somebody else halfway. But not for me.

I am a sensitive creature and I warned you about this from very early. And you know, I judge my own sensitivity every single second. And I measure the peace in mind in every micrometer. Taking you everyday as a human, an individual who isn’t me and staying by my side most of the time, I really have to do that judgment for my state of mind. I am not being extreme. I am reasonable and being myself. Someone making me not myself is not a good choice, as you may often hear everywhere.

It’s been hard, and a bit nervous for me to deal with you on some certain subjects. Because, well, you complain me. OMG. You conclude my “fault” without examining the situation. You repeat my “mistakes” more than once, even when I was already clear that I wasn’t happy and I thought I did nothing wrong or at least I tried my best. You are harsh to deal with. You are not gentle and compassionate to the “mistakes” (you made for me) of mine. One time I even thought that we can’t communicate further. Working together on something has turned into a nightmare to me ever since, even though I was dying to do something with you, I was about to skip all of the doubt to get fun things done with you, and just with you. At its worst, you’ve been treating me like I were a misbehaved child. Babe, I’ve got one Father – and that’s enough.

Babe. Isn’t it just overjoyed to be together? Isn’t it just fulfilled to be by each other side’s? Otherwise you didn’t make that whole long way, remember? Why do you complain? Why do you cause hard time for me being too judgmental? You just forget something important. You are back for a happiness that you’ve been longing for. And you also forget that happiness is made by you yourself, not just by being together.

Babe. I will try to go ego-less for life, taking all the disadvantage that life throws on me. I can try to go ego-less on you too, but only when you are a stranger to me, or just a friend. Why do you think a girl would stay with a life-mate who threatens her peace? Money? Physical attraction? No. Babe. I told you already. No physical for me. Just mind. Just connection.

And…unfortunately, not only to me, you also don’t seem attractive dealing with other people. Baby, everyone wants peace, not difficulty, even you. And everybody does fight against some battle that you know nothing about. Everybody does very stupid things sometimes. Im sure you did too, stupid in your way. We’re all stupid once in a while. Same. And We all need sympathy from others.

The more the attractive quality of yours drops in my eyes, the more my affection for you gets pulled down back to zero… Its so sad to say that I’ve got headaches being with you.

That’s how I’ll walk away without feeling regretful about our relationship… Unless you change.

That’s how I can break up with someone even when no cheating involved, no third party involved…

I might be a little bit over sensitive, but that just how I’ve been working on my life and how I guard my soul.

I’m gonna miss you like hell. But I’m not gonna come back. I really truly honestly hope you are well, from every piece of my broken heart. Lots of love.



So I think I’ve been moving to a stage where I may get ahead to avoid being hurt. 100% falling for someone might seem to be a weird thing for me nowadays. Instead, I raise my shield, get prepared with the sword, well, but not ready for any fight, just try to be a cool display, show that I’m secured enough and in fact, when things get turned in a wrong way, I might just simply always drop all of the weapons to walk away leaving everything, never ready for any drama any more. But thanks, shield, anyway. Pain is less likely to touch me, or at least it might be what I’ll show off.

I’ve been feeling so special with you, yet, so unspecial at all. You should have not told me loads about your past. I’m a stupid creature to get jealous with all of those things, past is past, present is present, I know you would explain that and so do I to myself, but…somehow it’s in there in your personality. If tomorrow we’re gonna breakup, will you even remember my name among your oceans of your girlfriends? Or you will just simply get some girl you meet on the street and turn her to be your girlfriend, forget all about me? I just can’t stand the feeling, I’m no that too confident to stick to the thought that I’m the most special girl in the world that every man should fall for, but…that’s it, it just makes me feel unspecial. Sometimes, I step forward to feel you more, hurtfully, the more I know about you, the more I just want to step back, Im afraid I may get hurt by the person who I’m still not sure about, yeah it’s true. I don’t know you; you don’t know me, even when we “know” each other. So I’ve been grabbing bit by bit of you day by day and getting bitter on my own, not about you, but about how many painful moments human can get in their life and how much into the depth they feel so hurtful but after all just swallow everything down and try to chin up again.

I’ve got much hurt enough to put all of my trust to someone again, in a discomfort that they might be laughing at me just because I am giving them the benefit of the doubt. I shouldn’t care about that, as long as my heart is pure and my intentions are good, but… I am not a Saint, to feel great knowing all that. You might think I’m a psycho myself for all of these things, but, I’m just honest, about what is going on inside me, about my unsecured feeling being with a person of the past and can be the present (this matters most). It’s just a way I get myself protected, I guess, and sorry I’m not gonna be able to help much with this.

Chuyện yêu

tiêu chuẩn người yêu
“Tiêu chuẩn” cho một người yêu là gì?

Tựa đề “Tiêu chuẩn” người yêu là do Trúc Viên nói đùa thôi. Chẳng có một tiêu chuẩn nào cả, chỉ là vấn đề 2 người có bắt sóng cùng một tần số hay không.  Bắt sóng được thì sẽ đi cùng nhau được, còn lệch pha nhau hoài thì chia tay cho đỡ nhiễu sóng vì suốt ngày cứ phải rà lên rà xuống :D.

Bài ngày hôm nay Trúc Viên trích lại 10 nguyên tắc chung để “tạm ước đoán mức bền vững của những liên hệ tình cảm” giữa hai người từ cuốn sách 10 GIÁ TRỊ CỐT LÕI CỦA THÀNH CÔNG, tác giả Trần Đình Hoành, cũng là người sáng lập trang web, chuyên trị các chuỗi bài về TƯ DUY TÍCH CỰC. Sau khi đọc xong các nguyên tắc này các bạn đang yêu hoặc có ý định yêu có thể ứng dụng để phân tích, suy nghĩ kĩ hơn về các mối quan hệ đang, đã và sẽ có nhé.

Làm thế nào để chọn người mà yêu?

Đây là câu hỏi mà mỗi người phải tự hỏi lòng mình đối với một người đặc biệt nào đó, chứ không hề có câu trả lời chung cho tất cả mọi người.

Tuy nhiên, cũng có một vài yếu tố chung để giúp chúng ta hiểu được tính cách và tình cảm sâu sắc về đối tượng của mình, để tạm ước đoán mức bền vững của những liên hệ tình cảm của người ấy đối với mình:

  1. Người ấy quan tâm về bạn hơn là chính người ấy. Nói chuyện thì thích nói về chuyện của bạn hơn là nói về chuyện của người ấy. Người ít tập trung vào cái tôi của họ thì sẽ không có cái tôi đè bạn ngộp thở sau này.
  2. Người ấy biết lắng nghe. Khi bạn nói người ấy nghe và hiểu rất sâu điều bạn nói, nhất là những tâm sự riêng tư của bạn, không chỉ là nghe hời hợt bên ngoài. Người biết lắng nghe luôn luôn hiểu được ý bạn sâu sắc.
  3. Người ấy thường khuyến khích bạn đi theo nhưng giấc mơ của bạn, dù là bạn muốn thành họa sĩ, muốn học lên tiến sĩ, làm kinh doanh, hay chỉ muốn ở nhà nuôi con.
  4. Người ấy trầm tĩnh. Vô quán, tiếp viên trễ nãi cũng không nổi giận. Gọi taxi, xe đến trễ cũng không cộc cằn. Bị người ta khiêu khích sẵn sàng nhịn. Người trầm tĩnh là người kỉ luật cao, cho nên có thể nhịn nhục bên cạnh bạn mà không gây gỗ. Người hay nổi nóng sẽ làm bạn điên đầu sau này vì sẽ hay nổi nóng với bạn.
  5. Nếu người ấy có đam mê hay ước mơ lớn, đó thường vì lý do nào đó lớn hơn anh/cô ta, như muốn thành triệu phú để tạo công ăn việc làm cho người khác, muốn thành công lớn trong công nghệ thông tin để phát triển tin học đất nước… Còn nếu người ấy chỉ muốn kiếm thật nhiều tiền vì chỉ muốn giàu, thì cái tôi của người ấy có thể đè bạn chết ngạt một ngày nào đó.
  6. Người ấy có sự tập trung cao. Nếu nói chuyện với bạn mà người ấy không tập trung vào câu chuyện được, đầu óc cứ nhảy từ chuyện này sang chuyện kia, hay cặp mắt láo liên nhìn các cô/các chàng khác, thì đó là người thiếu tập trung, dễ chạy theo các cám dỗ sau này.
  7. Người ấy tôn trọng bạn thật sự. Nếu bạn nói: “Em chưa cảm thấy sẵn sang để có thể tiến xa hơn” mà người ấy vẫn quý trọng và yêu mến bạn, và nói: “Anh sẽ chờ cho đến khi nào em thấy sẵn sàng”, chứ không tìm cách ép buộc và làm bạn cảm thấy bạn cảm thấy bạn “nhà quê”, “lạc hậu”, v.v. Tình yêu thật sự luôn tôn trọng người mình yêu.
  8. Người ấy tốt với mọi người, không chỉ với bạn. Nếu người ấy thô lỗ với người ăn người làm, chửi thề với đối tác trên điện thoại, mắng mỏ cộc cằn với nhân viên, thì sự dịu dàng người ấy có đối với bạn có lẽ cũng chỉ là bề ngoài và quan hệ này khó có thể kéo dài.
  9. Người ấy quý tôn trọng gia đình bạn. Kể cả khi bố mẹ chống đối, người ấy cũng không nói lời gì chống lại bố mẹ, anh em của bạn.
  10. Người ấy tự nhiên tình nguyện nói với bạn: “Anh sẽ yêu em suốt cả đời” (hay “Em sẽ yêu anh suốt cả đời”, và bạn cảm thấy có thể tin lời đó.

Đó là 10 yếu tố rất thông thường để giúp bạn thẩm định “người yêu” lúc đầu.

Chúc các bạn sáng suốt nhé.

Trúc Viên, 11 Nov 2016



Chuyện yêu, Daily thoughts

bài học tình yêu

Ai cũng nên tự rút ra cho mình một bài học, mỗi khi đi qua một mối tình. Để làm gì? Đơn giản là để ở với người yêu sau này được lâu hơn, hạnh phúc bền vững hơn, giúp thời gian bị ế của mình được ngắn lại (ế là tình trạng mong cầu người yêu mà không được có, những bạn không có nhu cầu tình cảm không gọi ế).

Trải qua một, hai mối tình rồi, mà vẫn ngu ngơ không hiểu vì sao mấy mối đó bị tan vỡ, là không được hay cho lắm (trừ trường hợp gặp người yêu là người có thần kinh không ổn định, hôm nay nói yêu hôm sau chia tay luôn không có lý do, trường hợp này thì khỏi quan tâm, chỉ cần xác định được anh chàng/cô nàng đó có vấn đề là đủ, xong rồi chia tay đi tìm người khác có đầu óc hoạt động bình thường để yêu tiếp). Đừng vội vàng đi tiếp khi chưa rõ nguyên nhân tan vỡ, vì có nhiều khả năng sẽ vấp ngã tại cùng một điểm đã từng vấp ngã, chưa kể làm phí thời gian của kẻ khác, chưa kể là cứ đau đáu khôn nguôi “tại sao mình tốt vậy mà bị đá?” trong khi đã bắt đầu cuộc tình với người yêu mới; hoặc là bước chân trên tình trường sẽ trở nên rụt rè hơn vì sợ không khéo cô/anh này cũng đá mình nốt.

Có rất nhiều lý do để chia tay nhau, tại anh thấy mình không xứng đáng, tại em không đủ quan tâm anh, vì anh đã chán rồi blah blah, nhưng trên một khía cạnh bao quát, chỉ có một lý do duy nhất, là hai người không hiểu nhau (mình bỏ qua những trường hợp gia đình cấm cản hoặc thần kinh bất ổn như có nói bên trên), vì nếu hiểu được nhau thì đã sống bên nhau trọn đời suốt kiếp, không cần vật vã chia tay chia chân nữa rồi.

Hiểu không phải chỉ đơn thuần dừng lại ở việc biết rõ những thứ cơ bản về nhau như anh thích ăn cháo lòng, em thích cheesecake, gặp nhau là mình đèo nhau thẳng đến quán cháo sau đó tấp vô cafe Highland gọi tráng miệng cheesecake; hoặc anh thích mặc quần jeans em thích điệu đà váy xòe tới mắt cá. Hiểu, sâu hơn, thực chất là …hiểu, và thương, và chấp nhận, dù là một số tật xấu. Từ hiểu rõ tại sao con người đó (người yêu mình) làm như vậy, đi đến thương và chấp nhận. Không hiểu, sẽ không thương, và sẽ không chấp nhận, và lâu dần những cái không hiểu, không thương sẽ dẫn đến điểm cuối là chia tay. Tình cảm con người cũng chỉ là một nguyên lý của vũ trụ, giống y chang chuyện hai cái bánh răng khớp vào nhau thì mới giúp động cơ hoạt động trơn tru, hoặc mưa thuận gió hòa thì cây côi tươi tốt hoa quả xum xuê; trong tình cảm, hai người cũng phải thuận theo nguyên lý đó, dung hòa với nhau, là điều bắt buộc nếu hai người muốn đi đến tận cùng câu chuyện cổ tích; thực sự hoàn toàn không có cách nào để hai người yêu và gần nhau được nếu mỗi bên đâm đầu về hai hướng khác nhau, khư khư giữ lấy quan điểm của mình, quay lưng lại với người kia. Tình yêu là chia sẻ, nếu không thích chia sẻ mà chỉ thích gìn giữ thế giới riêng của mình, thì không nên yêu làm gì.

Trúc Viên, 25/10/2016

Daily thoughts, relationship



OK. Let’s make it straight to the point that last night I had the sweetest dream ever in my life. In my dream, I jumped into the best part of the relationship: He took me out for the shopping! Woohoo. So pitiful that was just a dream.

However, another most interesting part was that after shopping for a while, while carrying all my shopping bags, he asked us to stay for a short break, and he offered me to sit opposite to him instead of sitting on the same row like everyone would do, so that we can talk. He’s such a gentleman, from his appearance, his voice, his gesture to his conversation. I can still feel his warmth overwhelming me LOL. I know that sounds silly to tell a dream that was already passed for almost 12 hours and I feel that was even more emotional than a teenage girl.

However, in fact, there is something more important I’d like to tell… I didn’t know this kind of expectation has been rooting in my sub-conscience this far that my dream finally spilled it out perfectly and beautifully this way. The talk.  He asked me to talk, to share, and that where the connection between the two souls started to establish. He wanted to listen to me; he offered to know me; he’d like to touch my soul; he wished to feel me, feel what I actually thought. He was really honest of his desire to share, whatever between us. Another plus point is that his voice and body language were so so gentle. What on earth could a girl ask for more? I don’t know what else people would ask for more, I only know that’s too much for me. The rest of my life I am gonna live just for that. That kind of connection and understanding between the two different people who share their souls.

So bad that the most beautiful dream ended too fast, so now I need to be back to the reality and live it to the fullest, while hoping that one day, my dream-man would come. However, be cautious, this heart is very sensitive to the cheating and un-honest ones, so man, don’t try to hard.


Daily thoughts, relationship

This post is beautiful. I couldn’t agree more.

“Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love should not be one of them.” — Unknown

Just like the author, I will also freaking squeeze whoever came up with that line tooooooo.

Yesssssss. Date someone who you get crazy about. Love can’t be monotonous, can’t be plain, can’t be neutral. Let’s fight, let’s get annoyed, let’s laugh, let’s understand, let’s be compassionate. Life has so much crap, we don’t need a crappy love quality.

Read the following post I re blogged from Thought Catalog and tell me what you think!

<Images in this post by me, from Internet>

There’s an old quote that I completely love:

“Unless it’s mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love should not be one of them.”

— Unknown

Yes. Yessss. I want to take whoever came up with that line and just freaking squeeze them. They understand. They get it. They know that life’s too dang short and we can’t settle for love that doesn’t make us feel something.

Love shouldn’t be mediocre.

It shouldn’t be boring, shouldn’t be blah, shouldn’t be monotonous, or going through the motions. Hell, love shouldn’t be easy. And I’ll stand by that.

Sure, falling in love should be easy. You fall for their smile, for their looks, for their touch, for the way their presence makes your heart literally bounce around in your chest.

But actual love is hard. It’s about choosing someone, day after day after day.

Choosing them, even through their b.s. and tears and full-blown screaming matches and random annoying things they do. Choosing them because no matter how angry you get, you literally cannot live without them in your life.

Love’s not supposed to be easy. It’s supposed to be about caring for someone, so much so, that you willingly fight through hell, together, so that you can always find your way back into each other’s arms.

That’s why I firmly believe that out of all the people in the world, you should date the girl that drives you crazy. Date the girl that makes you feel something.

The one whose yell makes you want to rip your hair out, whose tears make your stomach tie itself in knots. The one who makes you so physically mad you want to scream.

But also the one whose smile cannot help bring out yours, whose laugh brightens even your most bitter of days, whose touch sends electric shocks from your brain to your knees to your toes.

Love isn’t supposed to be about finding someone who fits perfectly with you, who calms and compliments you in every puzzle-piece, cookie-cutter type of way.

No. Love is meant to be two completely independent people somehow finding a way to mesh into one another’s lives. It’s supposed to be confusing and difficult. It’s supposed to be messy. It’s supposed to be real.

And it’s supposed to drive you completely crazy.

So crazy that you keep chasing after it, keep falling back into it, keep desiring the way your heart skips and your hands sweat and your mind spins after every kiss.

Don’t date the girl that’s one-dimensional and stoic. Don’t date the girl that says everything she’s supposed to, never fights with you, and always stands by your side quiet and unoriginal and boring. Don’t date the girl that doesn’t make your heart go absolutely nuts.

Because that’s not real love, and it won’t last.

Fall for the girl that drives you crazy.
Because I promise, she’s just as crazy about you.

via Date The Girl That Drives You Crazy — Thought Catalog

Daily thoughts, Fashion

I mean how long a relationship should take before moving forward to the more important decision: marriage. Well, some may suggest a number of duration. The adventurous ones could say a few weeks and immediately proudly say something about their 02-week-relationship marriage. Those who are more careful might take it up to 3-5 years and for some reason, some can even bring it up to 9-10 years.

However, I’m not gonna count it by years. In stead I would really love to take a look into the engagement the couple have with each others. Do they have fun and enjoy each moments they spend together or he/she is here with the partner just as a habit? When apart, is he/she eager to meet up to share what’s up, even just the very daily little things in his/her life? Do they feel they are just one same person, once he/she’s got some happiness or simply a good food, he/she thinks about the other and hope they can share the same experience? Does one know exactly how his/her partner may react in certain cases? Do they know each other’s habits, interests? And dreams? Are they willing to lift the partner up, reaching his/her dreams? Are they compassionate to each others or often fight to win?

To me, years is just a number, even if one knows his/her lover for 10 or 15 years (and proudly tell people about such long lasting relationship, for me, this is just “knowing”, not yet mention “loving” or “understanding”) but cannot set up an intensive understanding between the two, the break-up is just hidden or on the way. Sooner or later it will happen. If any really want me to answer “How long?”, then I would say, until when a couple find that they are happy together, they’re compassionate about each, they lose the feeling of winning the partner, they knows each others so well and want to bring them joy, not awkwardness or worry. That is when the relationship should move on to a higher level.

Next time if people tell you that the relationship is long enough to get married (this quite often happens in Vietnam), remember that my saying, years is just a number, that so-called soul connection is much more important, especially, when the couple will be busy making ends meet later on after marriage, understanding and connection would be even very very essential to balance out and keep it last.

I’ve got this poem WHAT IS LOVE from the internet at the end of my post. Try it and hope you enjoy.

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Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing and is your voice caught within
your chest?
It isn’t love, it’s like.
You can’t keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right??
It isn’t love, it’s lust.
Are you proud, and eager to show them off??
It isn’t love, it’s luck.
Do you want them because you know they’re there??
It isn’t love, it’s loneliness.
Are you there because it’s what everyone wants??
It isn’t love, it’s loyalty.
Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand??
It isn’t love, it’s low confidence.
Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don’t
want to hurt them??
It isn’t love, it’s pity.
Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart
skip a beat?
It isn’t love, its infatuation.
Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?
It isn’t love, it’s friendship.
Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of?
It isn’t love, it’s a lie.
Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake??
It isn’t love, it’s charity.
Does your heart ache and break when they’re sad??
Then it’s love.
Do you cry for their pain, even when they’re strong??
Then it’s love.
Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts??
Then it’s love.
Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain
and relation pulls you close and holds you there??
Then it’s love.
Do you accept their faults because they’re a part of who they are??
Then it’s love.
Would you give them your heart, your life, your death??
Then it’s love.
Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love?
Why is it all we search for in life? This pain, this agony? Why is it all we long for?
This torture, this powerful death of self? Why?The answer is so simple cause it’s…LOVE.

It’s when they’re the last thing you think about before you go to sleep and when they’re the first thing you think of when you wake up, the feeling that warms your heart and leaves you overcome by a feeling of serenity. Love involves wanting to show your affection and/or devotion to each other. It’s the smile on your face you get when you’re thinking about them and miss them.